Soul mate- Who?

           This IndiSpire idea really raised a typhoon in my heart. Do or did I really have/had a soul mate at any time in my life so far? I still doubt. No I am not talking about anything spiritual. I am absolutely mundane in this aspect. I am trying to fish out something significant from the deep ocean of my memory. It is not necessary that your life partner will be your real soul mate though our society assumes it. Your soul mate may be somebody whom you have never seen, with whom you have never exchanged a word, but still you feel he or she is near you always, inspires you every moment. She could be purely in your imagination, she may not be physically existing any more but still you cannot forget her. All these idea have been translated into very successful bollywood movies like Mohabbatein, Sirf Tum and many more.

           My personal feeling is that one does not expect anything from one’s soul mate. It is love in its purest form. No desire to spent time with, no intension of physical proximity and nothing of that sort. The only desire that exists is just to see her happy and feel her presence to get inspired. I know I am sounding too much theoretical to all the practical people of this universe. But still I maintain that true love is something where there is no give and take business. Marriage in a true sense is a purely give and take agreement between two individuals. (Or else how does one explain the increasing trend of divorces in the society?)

          It was early 1970s. I met a person in a stage of my life when I did not know the definition of love. We met for a very brief period. We were class mates in the village primary school. We were normal children sharing Tiffin box, exchanging home work notes competing with each other in the class, playing hide and seek and doing all that which normal primary school children do. In the Class V annual examination I marginally scored above her to grab the topper’s spot. She congratulated me with intense feelings. But I was not elated. In fact I wanted her to be the topper. Since there was no school in our village at that time for further studies I took admission in a school in a nearby village about three kilometres away. Most of my class mates also went there but not my best friend and competitor. Somehow this tormented me. I went to her house to ask her why she did not pursue further studies being such a bright student. Her parents explained to me that a girl did not need any further education as she would be married off in a couple of years and needed to learn household chores. Not satisfied, I argued with them but they simply asked me to ‘get lost’. I was dejected and tears well up in my eyes. She could sense my plight and told me, ”I know you are hurt. I know you wanted me to study and do something in life. But our society does not give that liberty to girls. Do not worry about me. But you study hard and become something great. That will give me pleasure.” I looked at her expressive eyes which were overflowing with tears. I did not know what I saw in them but for a moment I felt like breaking all social norms and taking her away with me so that she could study further. 

          I have had no contact with her since that day. I have never met her again in life. I have never tried to keep any news about her at any time. I am leading a normal mundane life of a responsible householder. But I can never forget those expressive eyes. Even today when I see a girl child being neglected in any sphere of activity a feel a sense of revolt in me and those expressive eyes of my childhood chum flashes in my mind. Whenever I feel a sense of low I remember her last words “You become something great. That will give me pleasure”. That puts me back on track again.

         What will you call this? I do not know. I think this is perhaps what a soul mate is.

PS: I do not know where she is now. Whether she remembers me or not. But if by any chance (which is very remote) she happens to read this post let me confess that this the first time I am telling this to the world. Thanks to Indispire for instigating me to open up the secret chamber of my heart.

PS2: This piece has been put together in response to IndiSpire Edition 50.

ODE TO DEATH

O Death! You are supreme.

You are the only truth in this turbulent voyage of life

You are eternal, nothing can make you perish

You are that Everest none can ever conquer

You are nature's supreme messenger.

You're the ocean of love that nothing can fathom

You're the harbinger of peace and hope

And you're the dearest one to me.

My bereaved heart pines for your coldest touch

In dream and reverie

In reality and wakefulness

I pine to get lost in your

Supreme timelessness.

Come on, my beloved chum

Squeeze me in your tight embrace

Free me from this abysmal ditch

Of mundane relationships.

Millennium’s Foggy Sunrise

It was past midnight on the New Year's day of the year 2000, the new millennium. We were driving back from Puri to Bhubaneswar after having a darshan of Lord Jaganath. My wife, children and parents in law - all of us had been to the Sri Mandir to be with the Lord at the moment of the advent of the new millennium (i.e. at 12 midnight on 31st December 1999). After offering our prayers at the wee hour and having the prasad we were returning to Bhubaneswar. It was past 2 A.M. We had never imagined that a thick fog would greet us on the way.

            The fog was so thick that the head lights of my Maruti 800 could not penetrate even a few metres. Nothing was literally visible as the wind screen got covered with the dew. I had to stop in that bone chilling cold night as driving became nearly impossible. As I opened the door of my car a  gush of chilled wind rushed in. The inmates who were dozing shrieked. "What happened?" asked my wife. "Nothing is visible." I said. All woke up and  we had no other way but to wait till the fog cleared out.

            As the dawn approached the fog began to thin out. We could see the crimson red in the eastern sky amidst the thick cloud of fog. The first sun of the new millennium was about to come out. The soft sunrays began to tear through the thickness of the fog. The sight was something unique. Thanks to the fog but for which we would have been deprived of seeing the first sunrise of the new millennium. As the age of the dawn advanced the fog began to clear out. We resumed our journey.

            The experience of the fog was unique and I can never forget it. Although it took us more than five hours to cover a distance of 60 kilometers we never felt exhausted. We had really enjoyed the night’s vigil floating in the fog and looking at the millennium’s sunrise. 

The following poem is based on this experience: 

Millennium’s Foggy Sunrise

The head lights failed miserably

To penetrate the thick cloud

Of water droplets, forcing

Me to apply the brakes.

“What’s the matter?” cried my dozing wife

“Nothing”, I said, “I just can’t see through

perhaps we will have to wait

till the fog clears out !”

The new millennium’s maiden day break

Just a few hours away.

And we just had a communion with

Lord Jagannath, when the clock struck

Twelve.

But why has He put us

In such quandary, challenging

Our faith in him?

The bone chilling sweep of the December wind

Inspired awe in me, as I came out

Tiny droplets of the mist

Moistened my inner self.

All others were having siesta

Inside the match box body

Of my Maruti 800.

The watch ticked on … and on

In the eastern sky I could see the crimson sun

The maiden sunrise of the new millennium.

The warm sunrays tore through

The thickness of the fog cloud

The sky became clearer, and

I could now see the road.

I drove at a snail's pace

Enjoying the foggy sunrise

The night's vigil was worth

A millennium's prize.

SAMBALPUR, THE SEAT OF GODDESS SAMALESWARI

The overnight bus journey from Bhubaneswar to Sambalpur was so comfortable that I could hardly feel that I had traveled over three hundred kilometers. My wife and children were also fresh and had a good night's sleep. We took a rickshaw to Hotel Panthanivas where we had our booking.

We hired a taxi for the sight seeing in and around the town. We got necessary information and assistance from the Tourist office in the hotel. We started with the darshan of Goddess Samaleswari after whom this small western Odisha town has been named. I was amazed to see the discipline in which people stood in a queue to get inside the temple. Such type of discipline is rarely seen in temples of Odisha. Our next destination was the Budharaja Temple on a hillock in the heart of the town. We had to climb more than a hundred steep steps to reach the top of the hill. The bird's eye view of the entire town was very nice. My children were ecstatic to see a train moving like a snake down below at the foot of the hill.

It took us about 45 minutes to reach Hirakud. We had to obtain a formal pass from the Security Office to visit the Dam. We were not allowed to drive on the dam. The five kms. long  dam connected two hills on the opposite sides thus creating a large reservoir. We climbed the Gandhi minar on the left dyke side. The top portion of the minar revolved  thus giving us an all round panoramic view of the dam site. My children were very happy. We felt as if we were amidst an ocean. The panoramic garden on the hill top was a good place to sit and relax. We then went to other side of the dam via the satellite township of Burla, popularly called the town of intellectuals. Barely within a radius of 2 kms. this township encompasses an Engineering College, a Medical college and an University. The literacy rate per square km will probably be the highest at this place. After spending about half an hour at the Nehru Minar we proceeded to the Ghanteswari Temple situated at Chipilima about 40 kms from Sambalpur. One has to walk on the narrow pavements of iron over vast expanse of water to reach the temple. It was a unique experience of fear and joy when we approached the temple. My children were very apprehensive and we had to hold their hands tight to give assurance.

Both my children were thrilled to see myriad of bells (Ghanti) of all sizes hung all around the temple. Hence the name Ghanteswari. The local priest explained to us that when people get their wishes fulfilled they tie bells in the temple. My wife also tied a ghanti for the well being of our family. We were feeling hungry and so we returned to the hotel.

In the afternoon session our first destination was the Deer Park on the Brookes hill. We thought it was a zoo sort of thing. But we were disappointed. A few deer and a leopard were what we could see there. I felt that if a beautiful garden were developed at the place it would be more attractive. Maneswar temple was our next destination. We were told that the deity in the temple was seen only on Sivaratri day and so it was called Patala Linga. My children enjoyed seeing the large turtles in the temple pond.

It was already 4.30 P.M. We proceeded to our last major destination, i.e. the leaning temple of Huma.(29 Km. from Sambalpur). The Shiva temple in the village was in an inclined state (about 20 degrees from the Vertical). I remembered the leaning tower of Pisa, Italy. Was this temple in any way less than that? Inside the temple all pillars and gates were also inclined. The local people told us that the temple was in that position since time immemorial. This was the most interesting and amazing spot of my entire Sambalpur trip. My children were in a spell of ecstasy to see hundreds of large and small fishes clamouring near the shore of the river adjacent to the temple. The fishes took eatables from our hands. People told us that those fishes belonged to the Lord and they always remain there. My children wanted to stay there for some more time but we had to return as it was getting dark. We could not also enjoy the boat ride in the river.

The next morning we went out for some shopping. I had heard about the famous handloom sarees of Sambalpur. My wife purchased two silk sarees from the Gole Bazaar area, the most famous market place of the town. They were not very cheap but at least the quality was guaranteed. A good bargainer can land up paying about 35 to 40% less on the quoted price of the sarees.

In course of our visit I talked to a lot of people. As I knew a bit of sambalpuri accent the local people felt that I belonged to their place and were very much free with me. They were very friendly and cooperative. However, the one thing about the town that tormented me was the poor drainage system, which resulted in flooding of roads after a good downpour thus making things unhygienic.

I and my family enjoyed every bit of time that we were at Sambalpur. If somebody is looking for a sleepy holiday away from the din and bustles of city life, Sambalpur will definitely be the right destination for him.

CHILDHOOD

Gone are those rollicking days, when

I roamed freely and fearlessly

in the salubrious lap of nature

Climbing trees and plucking berries. 

The insatiable desire then entangled me

To soar into the unending blue of the sky

To catch up with the chirping birds

And to swim with the aquatics in the bay.

Criticism meant nothing to me

Society had no meaning either

Let alone life's obstacles and miseries

What to speak of fiendish human nature!!

I wondered how the sun shone so bright!

Why the moon not seen every night!!

Whenever I asked someone- I got the reply

Grow up my child; everything will come to your sight.

Now that I am grown up

Grown up enough to understand the mysteries of nature;

But one change in me I can never make out

How could I acquire such a selfish, jealous character?

I would like to be a child always, and stay

In that tiny world of enormous joys and queries;

Rather than becoming an adult and suffer

In this suffocating society of magnificent worries.

TODAY'S POEM

An emotional me found the world

all beautiful and romantic.

I became Keats for a moment

and searched for the 'thing of beauty'.

The Wordsworth in me was overwhelmed by

the everlasting chant of the Highland lass.

And I found myself in the tranquility

Of mellifluent rustles of the casuarinas.

An idealist me imagined another world

Where people lived in ecstasy and bliss.

But alas! Can it be a "Paradise Lost"

If I become blind for a while and write?

The realist me shattered my dreams and I realised

That I am living in a world of woes and worries;

And the thing of beauty is nowhere to be seen.

Rich is becoming richer and might, not right

has become the order of the day.

Am I writing a poem just for poem's sake?

Oh! Sorry, my revered Worsworths', Miltons' and Keats',

For I want my poem to reflect the

Spirit of my times.