CHILDHOOD

Gone are those rollicking days, when

I roamed freely and fearlessly

in the salubrious lap of nature

Climbing trees and plucking berries. 

The insatiable desire then entangled me

To soar into the unending blue of the sky

To catch up with the chirping birds

And to swim with the aquatics in the bay.

Criticism meant nothing to me

Society had no meaning either

Let alone life's obstacles and miseries

What to speak of fiendish human nature!!

I wondered how the sun shone so bright!

Why the moon not seen every night!!

Whenever I asked someone- I got the reply

Grow up my child; everything will come to your sight.

Now that I am grown up

Grown up enough to understand the mysteries of nature;

But one change in me I can never make out

How could I acquire such a selfish, jealous character?

I would like to be a child always, and stay

In that tiny world of enormous joys and queries;

Rather than becoming an adult and suffer

In this suffocating society of magnificent worries.

TODAY'S POEM

An emotional me found the world

all beautiful and romantic.

I became Keats for a moment

and searched for the 'thing of beauty'.

The Wordsworth in me was overwhelmed by

the everlasting chant of the Highland lass.

And I found myself in the tranquility

Of mellifluent rustles of the casuarinas.

An idealist me imagined another world

Where people lived in ecstasy and bliss.

But alas! Can it be a "Paradise Lost"

If I become blind for a while and write?

The realist me shattered my dreams and I realised

That I am living in a world of woes and worries;

And the thing of beauty is nowhere to be seen.

Rich is becoming richer and might, not right

has become the order of the day.

Am I writing a poem just for poem's sake?

Oh! Sorry, my revered Worsworths', Miltons' and Keats',

For I want my poem to reflect the

Spirit of my times.

WIFE

I had thought

In the bliss of that rare moment

In the pitch darkness of the locked room

On the flowery bed, amid the warmth of your breath

That I could submerge myself

In the ocean of your unfathomable love;

And drink the sweetness of your devotion to my heart's content.

And sail through life's voyage with ease.

As you had promised to render

Unconditional support for our

Peaceful coexistence,

In that first ever night of our sweet rendezvous.

And today,

Amidst the trials and tribulations of life

In the process of keeping pace with me

When you fling a trident like

"When is your salary?"

I feel as if I am getting drowned

In the turbulent sea of your conditional love

And my heart getting choked

In the saltiness of your blank devotion

And I really wonder whether

Your promise of unconditional support

Was meant for me, or

My pay packet?

Tolerating Injustice

It was 1971. I was a student of 5th Standard. I happened to go to  the Tehsil Office along with my grandfather  for sorting out some land related problem. My grandpa asked me ,"Do you have a two rupee note?"
"Yes" I said.
"Then give it to me. I will give you after going back", said  grandpa.
He took the note from me and handed over to a man in Khaki sitting near the Office entrance. We then reached inside a room where a fat man was sitting jotting down something on a piece of paper. Grandpa told him something in an accent as if he was begging something from God.  The man shouted at him and was talking in a loud voice as if he were the Emperor of the place. Although I could not make head and tail of the conversation between them I could sense that the man was insulting Grandpa. I was feeling irritated and felt like slapping the man but kept quiet more out of fear than anything else.
Grandpa was quite nervous and dejected when we started our return journey from the Tehsil office. He was deeply engrossed in some thought and hardly talked with me.When a usual jolly person keeps mum it is hard to tolerate. I could muster courage to ask "What happened? Why was that officer shouting at you? and what made you so sad??
Grandpa did not reply. When I repeated my question he could not hold back his tears. It was the first time I saw him weeping. I was really perturbed. My little mind could not gather strength to react to the situation. After sometime Grandpa became normal and told me: " You study hard and grow up. Be a bigger officer than this Tehsildar. Then we will teach him a lesson"
I could not make head or tail of this statement. Grandpa did not tell me anything else. After reaching our village I talked to a school mate who was elder to me by at least 4 years. He was more conversant with the village way of life and the behaviour of government officials with the illiterate village folks. He collected all informations about the incident and told me after a couple of days that the Tehsildar had asked my Grandpa a sum of Rs.100/-( a massive amount in those days in 1971) within a month to issue a new document (pataa)in place of the old worn out document as proof of ownership of our 2 acres of arable land. "But does those documents cost that much?" I asked innocently. "No it costs only 25 paisas per govt standards. The rest is the amount the  Tehsildar pockets?"
"But why? Does he not get paid by the govt?" My innocent query made my friend laugh aloud. He said, "You are a small child now. Grow up  a little more. You will understand"
The fact is I could not understand then (and I do not understand even now) why should any govt official demand money from innocent villagers to render a service which he is supposed to perform and for which he is handsomely paid by the govt?
That was my first experience of corruption in public life. More than forty years have passed since that day. I do not recollect where from my Grandpa got the money and how he could manage to pacify the hunger of that corrupt Tehsildar. But I remember from that very day I became too much conscious of corruption in public life and refused to give any TIPS to anybody. Even today I feel a sense of revolution in my soul while giving some tips to the hotel boy or the security guard while checking out of any Hotel. My friends and colleagues brand me as "miser" but some how I feel it is corruption at the grass roots level. Many a times I have preferred to travel in a over crowded general train compartment rather than paying a twenty rupee bribe to the TTE to get a berth. People feel I am a bit too much conscious about spending money. But I know that bribing is wastage of money and I am dead against wasting any resource.

We talk a lot about corruption in public life? But how many of us can refuse to pay bribe in a public place like a train compartment? The TTE should not demand money to allot vacant berths. It is his duty and he is being paid for performing his duty? But who is paying him? People like you and me. We  debate on corruption but cannot take the pains to travel in a general compartment. We scold the TTE at his back but do not curse ourselves for encouraging him to take money from us.

This is hypocrisy and all of us are hypocrites. How many of us can muster courage to accept this naked truth?? Come on friends. Stop bribing at the grass root level if you want to see a nation devoid of corruption. One Anna Hazare or Narendra Modi cannot do it. Each and every one of us has to contribute.

Do not forget: when you point a finger towards others there are three fingers pointed towards you. Please be the change you want to see in the society around you.

VAIDEHEE

He did not even cast a cursory glance at me
Even though we met after a thirteen-year separation.
My snuffed womanhood yearned
For a few soothing words from him.
Instead, he demanded a testimony of chastity.
I was stultified, tears gushed out of my closed eye lids.
A sense of emptiness gripped my feelings
Laxman and a few others argued for me
But nothing could melt his avalanche ego.

As the evening mist was stealing in
from the nearby hills, I consigned myself to flames.
Dusk was melting into night
And a star twinkled on the blue firmament.

Probably, kindness dawned upon him, and so
Before I was burnt to ashes, he lifted out
my smoldered body to his palace.
Our togetherness had become an island
Surrounded by strange waters of suspicion.

In a chilling winter night he knocked at my doors.
I slipped out of the back doors, surreptitiously
To the banks of the river of distress, while
The pale moon shed cool light from heaven's lofty heights.

I heard a thunderous roar from a distance
Just like Ravana's laughter
Unafraid I laughed like a lunatic
And asked my inner self
"Was Lanka in any way inferior to Ayodhya?

DOES GOD REALLY EXIST? WHERE?

Does GOD really exist? 
Where? 
In the temples, churches, masjids,gurudwaras and other places of worship?
Does God has a shape? Or more specifically does God need a shape to exist?
If God is believed to be omnipresent then why do people rush to some particular place of worship to have His darshan?
If God is believed to be the owner of the Universe then why people offer Him material things like gold and money? Does He really need these things?
These are some of the issues about GOD which has been baffling the human intelligence since time immemorial.
I am not trying to go into the controversy whether God exists or not. Nor I am trying to prove anything. My perception of God is bit different which is as follows:

There is no being or thing called God which can be seen or touched. God is only a belief. If you believe God exists He does and if you believe God doesnot exist then He doesnot. However, probably you agree that there are certain phenomena like blooming of a flower or blowing of the wind which is beyond human control. Then somebody must be controlling these events. May be some power/energy which controls the nature. We label this super natural power as God.God is a belief created by us to fall back when things go wrong with us or just to console ourselves that "God wished it otherwise."I feel that man is the creator of this belief called GOD.

As truly and humourously depicted in a recent Paresh Rawal starer bollywood movie "O My God" man uses the name of God to his benefit.God never wishes that people should fight in His name, do politics in the name of religion,do business in His name and raise funds from legal or illegal sources for building his temple. It is the humsn mind which expolits the god fearing population to meet its own selfish ends. God does not need a temple to reside.Nor does he needs wealth to spend.Temples are used to collect money from the public in the name of God. Till today even after 50 years of my existence in this world I fail to understand why people donate so generously in places of worship. And why the same generous people become so miserly while offering some food to a hungry man lying on the streets.

I strongly believe that if God at all exists then He exists in all of us, in every living being. He resides in every human soul and needs only unconditional love as offering. I am sure many of you who are reading this post do not agree with me.

I will just request you to try this: Use the amount that you have saved to offer to God in some temple in feeding the hungry beggers in your locality.Watching them while they eat will give you the supreme happiness that no amount of worship in any temple can give. Don't trust me. Experiment it yourself.God will definitely smile on you. 

A Letter to My son on his Completing a Score

You have completed a score today and will be entering your 21st year of existence from tomorrow. As I reminisce that moment 20 years back in the MKCG Hospital in Brahmapur I simply find myself the luckiest person on this earth. A star (brighter than the evening star) was born in my house. As the entire environment celebrated your arrival I was more worried than happy as your mother reeled in pain after the CS. At that point of time she was the only individual whom I loved more than anything in the world (I still do love her as much I did then, but the only difference is I no longer exhibit it). I never enjoyed your arrival till she was discharged from the hospital. The happiness all around our extended family was clearly visible. You are the harbinger of the new generation in our family. A bright fair "male" baby weighing 3.63 kgs at birth born to wheatish parents- something not very usual.

Many people predicted so many things for your future. He will be an engineer, He will be a doctor, He will rise to Himalayan heights, He will achieve a lot in life,  so on and so forth. I had no idea what your future really held for you at that point of time. I was just happy that I had become a father though that meant adding one more head to the ever increasing population. I was not physically present with you as you grew up slowly like the moon in the bright fortnight. Thanks to my job transfer! By the time you came to stay with me you were 10 months old. And I vividly remember those days in Talcher when I used to play with you most of the time. Perhaps you are the only baby who was physically so close to me.(I do not know why I keep myself away from small babies). Even Pinky was not that close to me compared to you.

Do you remember the days when it was a real task to send you to Issac Santra Nursery in Christian Para Sambalpur? The teachers there had seen something special in you. You were the most adored child there as long as you were there. I met Ms Panda just a few days back accidentally and she still remembers you. You were a hit in DAV as well and all your teachers are looking forward to see you in the winters this year.( By the way, why don't you prepare a presentation about media studies, its scope and job opportunities etc.for the class X &XI students of your school and deliver it?) You were a teachers' pet in DPS as well and even in the college you are living upto your reputation. That is what "brightness" is. Probably people knew about this special quality in you which I never visualised. And I still curse myself for failing to be with you (and Pinky as well) during your formative years. I never helped you in your studies but still you shined. You are definitely a "gifted" child as one of your professors confided in me a few days back. I am really proud of being your father. God has been kind enough to make me the medium to bring you to this earth.

Each of God's creation, however insignificant it may be, is created with a purpose. As I can visualise today you have come to this world to do something special. You are the messenger of the Almighty to uplift the down trodden and open up new vistas for the mankind. Your contribution to the society will be preserved in the annals of history. I was delighted when you asked me to have the Steve Jobs biography. This will definitely convince you how God creates people for His purpose. To quote from H.W. Longfellow's "Psalm of life":

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.

(this I had read in my high school days and still remember the lines)

Shape your life as you feel like. Live not only for yourself but for the Society at large. The mankind expects a lot from you for its upliftment. Never be serious about anything. Opportunities in life do come. Just have the right attitude to recognise them and grab them in both hands. Have faith in God and His will. Never fear anybody or anything. Be Sincere and Assertive. That is enough to sail through life's journey smoothly. But Life sometimes springs surprises. Don't be afraid of them. Every surprise comes as a challenge to make you wiser and stronger. Just enjoy each and every moment of this life. This is what I learnt from Pinky after she was diagnosed with leukemia.

Can there be a luckier father than me who has such bright kids with such special qualities.

Bored you a lot. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Papa